Qintan ([info]floraldance) wrote,
@ 2009-02-16 01:33:00
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Valentine's fall.
My Valentine's Day/ weekend was spent on the ski slopes at Blue Mountain with some friends...lots of fun but nothing romantic. And now I've plenty of blue-blacks, bruises, a couple of cuts and a grazed lower back from falling so much haha. But it was good. Just that these battle scars do not look aesthetic at all, boohoohoo :-( I just checked. I believe my nose's crooked from the impact! It hurts, it swells, I hope it's not broken!

I have opportunities that I know will not turn out into anything. Is it still self-deception if I keep hoping? Or be happy just because there are doors that will lead to nowhere? I'm trying to ignore the fact that they will lead to nowhere. I'm trying to make myself not feel the need for doors to lead to anywhere at all, anymore. I'm trying to make myself not hope too much, anymore. And just be happy for whatever I have. Though that's so hard to do.

If I cannot love someone, I will love everyone.

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[info]disconance
2009-02-16 01:56 pm UTC (link)
hey qintan. this is a little weird/random since I don't know you that well even after having gone to phuket with you (last year, rmb?), but I thought I'd comment because your second paragraph really struck a chord with me; I really know what you mean when you say you're trying not to make yourself feel the need for doors to lead to anywhere at all. I found this entry while surfing jez's friends-page (ha ha I find way too much stuff there), started scrolling through more entries, and it seems like you've been pretty sad, well, sometimes at least. anyway.. I know the words 'cheer up' are pretty useless (they are to me, at least), so happy friendship/valentine's day! :)
-grace
p.s. i lol-ed at 'sexiled'

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[info]floraldance
2009-02-23 05:16 am UTC (link)
hey grace, I just saw your message, it's really nice of you, thank you so much! I've come to realize that sometimes, it's just better for me to take a step back and not hope for too much; just take things as they go. Because when you hope for things to be more than they are, that only makes you more aware of what you lack, forget what you have, and be unhappy.

May you be happy too! :)

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[info]sunhorizon
2009-03-23 09:46 pm UTC (link)
qin tan!!!! you have an lj!!!!! i add you :D :D !

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(Anonymous)
2009-06-08 10:30 pm UTC (link)
Hey it's been 4 months. No new entries? Anyway, it's 523am at SG here and I have woke up too early. I am facebooking on my mobile phone when I saw your blog.

It's quite a nice read. Perhaps you can write a book when you graduation. I can't think of a really catchy title now except, "Memoirs of a SG in UPenn". (quite lame)

Looking fwd to your entries.

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