Current mood:	contemplative
Current music:	Charlene - I've Never Been to Me

thoughts running through my mind.
"last updated, 27 weeks ago."

27 weeks later, and so much has come to pass.
nepal trip
cruise
enlisting
tango - and a wholly memorable 9 weeks that has found me new friends - both platoonmates and instructors, and made me stronger physically and mentally.
and the big change in my life - growing up
rediscovering myself and a best friend
sierra - clm. where i first felt so acutely the sense of belonging, of being part of a warm family, of being accepted and valued. all in the span of 2 weeks.
and now, MIDS wing. a place that i can really say i'm glad to be.

where i can say i belong.
supper parties, late-night basketball,
the hokkien that i don't understand, the jokes,
the meals together, the lessons spent trying to keep each other awake,
the studying together late into the night,
the laughter, the music.

yet.
wish i could, and didn't have to care
about so many things.
the unbearable weight of lightness, of flitting about
wandering and wondering
what i'm doing at times.
running on and on
burying the baggages of the past
apprehensive of slowing down, of making wrong turns
and losing what i already have.

the pursuit of perfection
blinds and disappoints;
a double-edged sword.
why, why cant i..
questions i cant answer.
wish i were perfect.
wish i didnt wish i were perfect.
wish i were better.
wish i could just be happy with myself.

the bliss and ignorance of youth
i wish i have
and i run on and on